I have a question about public speaking for women

I do lots of mentoring these days, record most of it for a future YouTube channel. And a few days ago I did a talk about doing better talks. There was a young woman in the audience with a question that is following me up to this minute. The question I haven’t really given a deeper thought before. Not once throughout my last 10 years in developer relations.

Next few days I took the time to wonder many younger male colleagues of mine, if them looking young has ever been a problem at a tech event. I tried to talk to both more vocal and more silent young males. And you, my dear reader, can answer this question as well: “has your young look ever been a concern for being heard as a speaker at a tech event?”.

This question suddenly overlaid the talk a senior executive at King did. He brought up, that his wife sits on boards of several media companies, and often while being the most senior person in the room, she still has troubles being heard. He suggested that “it is not about quality, but about the quantity of women in the room”.

Next day I found King’s HRBP on the same sunny Barcelona El Prat airport terrace where I was plane watching. I brought up both small stories that you’ve just read to hear her feedback.

I am still digesting it all, as I am writing this. In fact, it is the reason why this text is here, why I am going all off my developer relations life stories.

The society started discussing diversity, unconscious bias, equality, empathy. So the change is in the process. There are still “whoah she looks so good” comments under YouTube recordings of female speakers. But they’re often followed by “how is her look important to the topic of the presentation”. We’re slowly evolving.

The topic is so sensitive and so individual, that I don’t feel myself in a position to draw conclusions. But there’s always a place for a humble opinion, free advice, one of many, possibly relevant, probably not.

I always try to look likeable and relevant to my audience: laptop stickers, talking t-shirt, functional backpack, wristbands, geeky pins, something to help people locate me in the crowd. I try to put an easily recognisable profile on me, so people at a given event can easily guess who I am, easily talk to me. So somebody can suggest their friends find me with a one-liner like “bold dude with some jewellery in moustache”.

Probably my humble advice for young women willing to get audience trust at developer events would be to wear a profile that feels confident and that should be relevant for a given audience. With the keyword being “confident”.

I went so many times to Mobile World Congress, always struggled to do anything, each conversation required an elevator pitch: I didn’t care enough to get myself a suit and a trolley bag. Well, people have bias and want to save time and efforts by only talking to people who seem relevant to their immediate goals. I just didn’t fit the expected profile of a telecom manager.

If my dear reader feels having something to add to this dialogue, please do so.